My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
