with your own penis?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
