Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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