Sry I called you an 8
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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