? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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