When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
