What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Randomize
