this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
