When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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