it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
