I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
