I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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