Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize