Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
