If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
