I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
