I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize