Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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