there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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