Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
