Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Houston, we have a squirter
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
