I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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