but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The air was thick with penises
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
