i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
