Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
