I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
