No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize