everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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