my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
