yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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