Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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