And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
