just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
