She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
