Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
