she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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