Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 4restgump hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.

Fav 28 2011 3729
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second

Fav 11 1513 5560
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest

Fav 21 1592 5701
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3

Fav 5 3885 1025
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.

Fav 2 1607 1562
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from

Fav 12 2818 967
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

Fav 8 1801 765
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?

Fav 7 493 1134
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.

Fav 0 161 84
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT