What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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