Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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