drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
