bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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