a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
