I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Success! We fucked roommates!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
