i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
