Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
