dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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