Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
