I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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