new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
