I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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