I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
