1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
