bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
this will be a night to untag.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
