i think my tv is drunk
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
