Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
