I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
