oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
