i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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