I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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