I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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