okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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